Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Talking with your hands


Idea by Zoee, thought of via a costa cafe with Jim and some other guy

I mean, fair enough if you want to talk to someone but talking with your hands is a bit fucked up isn't it? Like, you have this thing called a voice which normal people use to chat to each other, but no you decide to go round waving your hands around and touching people's arms like a dickface.

So when me and Zoe were in Costa having a hot chocolate, and laughing at you because your like a retarded kid touching Jim on the arm and talking about some blokes called Dave and Mark and Stuart , we sort of have this feeling that you were either gay or just liked the feeling of groping at someone constantly.

I mean, Jim was actually fucking amazing to you, coz' if it was me I would've punched you in the head and gone 'piss off you bell-end freak'. Infact, Jim seemed to enjoy it a bit too much, so maybe he was gay as well, perhaps that why you were looking in each others' eyes while some guy outside rubbed one of his many chins watching you with curiosity, the pervert.

Alright, I can understand you wanting to explain something better, but man you can't just wave your hands around like you do, in circles like a helicopter. Only little kids do that, you're going to smack some poor kid in the head, hospitalize them and then look like a FOOL, but mate you already do so it's ok, carry on with your retardedness.

But, your actually quite funny, but don't think this is a good thing, because really it is not, your a fail. One day you're going to end up on youtube like you would've today if we could've downloaded it from our phones, but your weirdness probably broke it or something.

To be honest, there isn't much more to say, except just stop. Your either going to be a loner the rest of your life, kill some 3 year old or end up on youtube where you'll be rated 5-star have millions of views and known worldwide as a 'LOSER'.


Wednesday, 21 January 2009

The 'fuck annoying' chavs

This is not some anti-chav post at all, I'm alright hanging around with some chavs and I'm no chav myself. If you think I'm a fucking chav go stick your head down the nearest loo and flush it coz' if you know me then I'm no way one. But another about that shit. This is a rant about those fuck annoying lairy cheap chavs.

These are the ones with the baggy trousers that were brought from tesco fucking 1,000,000 sizes too big but wear them like they're too small. Retarded, much? There's low and there's flying low, these guys are defiantly flying way too low.

Most of these chavs wear sports clothes, although what's ironic about that is that they've never done any sport in their entire fucking life. I mean what the fuck?!

Whats more hilarious is that they think that they look hard, but mate you really don't, it's like thinking a grandma can appear on page 3. Not going to fucking happen (unless some spaz editor gets the job, which wouldn't fucking surprise me).

Oh, and then there's the fact that they are into all this crap music, I mean alright if you want to be a complete fucked up loser fair enough, but then you play it in public, addressing that fact even if it wasn't fucking flat obvious to begin with. (See playing loud music on public transport).

So to conclude, they're retarded, many are fat, most wear sports clothes and don't play it, and listen to shitty music. Fuckasses much?

Saturday, 10 January 2009

'Best Friends'

Idea By Sarahh

I respect people that are best friends, they've known each other for a long time in their life and they know loads about each other. They can easily trust them and their troubles can be explained. But what drives me insane is when people say they're 'best friends' when infact they've known each other for a matter of weeks. No, I'm sorry but you can't be a 'best friend' know everything ab0ut that person in that little time.

A friendship that can be classed as 'best friends' takes years to build, not a matter of fucking weeks. I mean, you can hardly get to meet up with them that many times, let alone know enough of their life story to be classed as 'best friends'. Seriously, people that say they're best friends with someone like that has a pretty bullshit life and probably doesn't have any 'best friends', or their so called 'best friends' change and go as quickly as they get them.

These are the people that put their name in their IM name with a little star next to it with little kisses and hearts. After a couple of weeks or even days it's removed and then blank. A few hours later it's replaced with someone else and the process continues. These people will never have a best mate and will just flick between people until there are no more choices left and they'll end up spending the rest of their life digging their grave.

I'm also talking about the people that brag about knowing such and such a person, when actually they don't even know their last name. They're just called 'x' and they have a nice smile. Haha, yes you know that person lots.. -sarcasm-

So, yeah a message to those people, with a couple of friends but no best friends, people who they've known for years. You aint got one, you not going to have one.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Playing loud music on public transport

These people really annoy me, I mean like fair enough listening to music on the bus, but how hard is it to plug in some headphones and not to piss of other people? And whats worse is that the music that they play is the biggest load of shit i've ever heard. If you're playing music out loud at least play some good music otherwise you'll have people pissed off at you, and laughing at you because of your fucked up taste in music.

Most of the time it's the same song again and again. Yes, a shit song again and again. Fuck annoying, right? Like, alright if you really want to listen to it.. like I said buy some bloody headphones
you dickwad.

They sit on their own as well, it's not like they're doing it as a laugh with their mates or they're all headbangin' to some awesome song. No, they're on their own sitting there whilst everyone shouts insults at them. It probably happens all the time to them all day and they wonder why. Maybe they should try be a bit more sociable.. rather than just piss everyone on the bus off.

Monday, 5 January 2009

Lying for attention

Attention seekers are bad, but people that lie in order to get attention are total pricks to be fair. But the ones that piss me off the most are those that pretend that they're better than they are, or something has happened to them to make people feel sorry for them.

Like, when they say that have a swimming pool, but it's actually a fucking paddling pool full of leaves and shit. Then there's that pretend their friend has died and cry, but it turns out they don't know their last name, nor what they looked like. Fake, much?

So, these lying attention seekers are damn right dickheads, trying to be something they're not, something they'll never be won't get you anywhere coz' when the truth gets out you'll be dumped in a ditch and they'll fill it in with all the fucking lies that they ever told.

'Inside Jokes'

Inside jokes are like the most shitty joke ever invented. I mean, if you don't even know the fucking joke how can you think it's funny? What's really annoying is the fact that they put a 'inside joke' in their msn name and then when you ask what it's about they reply 'inside joke ;)' and then go 'haha it's so funny' - uh, fucking tell me it then?

When they finally let them slip they're actually pretty bullshit anyway. Turns out it was because she wore two different socks today or some crap like that. So, not only you don't know the fuck they're on about, they're actually probably the worst joke ever invented.

Alright, personal jokes are like ok to have between a group of people. But, with something that you call 'inside joke' probably aren't best posted in the public 'outside' on msn. You're just a fucktard for doing that really. Especially if your not going to tell people what it is when they ask.

So remember 'folks inside jokes = shit and inside jokes belong ON THE INSIDE.
Thank you, and g'night :)

Fatties that complain

Before anyone flames me I want to make it clear that I've got nothing against fat people. I've got a problems with fat people that complain about being fat. The people that post on YouTube saying 'People insult me because I'm fat, and I don't want to be fat' are complete arseholes. Lose some fucking weight then - that's my verdict.

I'm alright with people that know they're overweight and can deal with it, what I hate are these dickheads that don't want to be fat and get angry when people call them fat but still make the daily visit to McDonalds.

I get annoyed with the people that say it wasn't their choice to be fat either. Uh, you dumass of course it was your choice, see if you looked at it clearer you could easily have eaten a healthy meal and gone out for a fucking jog a few times a week. Not the regular TV and doughnuts.

So a message to fatties that complain - shut up, nobody gives a shit and if you wana lose weight it seriously isn't that hard. Running + Park = Loss of weight. Isn't no rocket science.